A Gift for You: 2015

It’s been awhile since my last post, and I am grateful to all of you who have asked when you can expect to see more from ETS – I am overjoyed to know that this place has been meaningful, even if to only one. My life has been turned upside-down in the last several months – in all really good ways. But sometimes it feels like parts of me have been on hold after relocating from New York to North Carolina.

The fact that I am finally beginning to feel really settled in at this time of the year feels like a blessing. It is the time of year that we reflect on the past year, and think about what we want the coming year to be. I do not want to enter the New Year hoping and wishing, or feeling disorganized and lacking focus – I want to enter 2015 in a way that is focused, deliberate, intentional. But I am mindful – as the saying goes, “Man plans, and God laughs.” The key is to be strategic, but hold it lightly.

The following was a powerful experience last year for so many of us, so I wanted to bring it around again. Think of this as a gift to yourself - an incredibly effective tool to bring intention into your life. Set aside a few uninterrupted moments of quiet and reflection to complete this exercise.


Step One:

Reflecting on 2014, consider the following areas of your life: personal life/spiritual development; romance/intimacy; wellness/self-care; finances; career/business; physical environment; social life/fun;

list your wins, successes and breakthroughs;

list your "losses", disappointments and breakdowns. Now - set these aside. They are part of your past.


Step Two:
Choose 5 lessons you have learned this year that you would like to take with you into 2015. When you decide which lessons to include, remember that these are lessons that you will use consciously in the New Year.


Step Three:
Now imagine that it is December of 2015. Make a list of your wins, successes and breakthroughs. Be specific, and write them as though they have already happened. Make the list as long as you like.


Which wins, successes or breakthrough resonate for you?


Which ones create good anticipation? Excitement?


Which ones SURPRISE YOU?


*** 


“You’ll never do a whole lot unless you’re brave enough to try.” ~ Dolly Parton

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Halona Patrick Shaw, LCSW, JD
Board Certified Life Coach
Eyes Turned Skyward, Inc.
halona@eyesturnedskywardcoaching.com
ph/text (917) 846-7784

My Life is a Boot Camp

In November, I posted about my plan to start a boot camp challenge. When I jacked up my leg, and I couldn’t continue with the challenge, I was so disappointed that my plan was thwarted.

When I was cleared by my orthopedist to return in January to the last three weeks of boot camp, I immediately developed strep throat, then some upper respiratory thing, and my husband was traveling, snow days kept us home bound, and I never got back to complete the six week program.

Then yesterday morning, after the umpteenth snow storm, and I was finishing shoveling the driveway of about 15 or so inches of snow (I gave up on the snow blower because the snow was simply too heavy and wet to throw), and I looked up after I worked my way down to the bottom, and saw THIS:

and then these words went through my head:

MY LIFE IS A BOOT CAMP.

My life IS a boot camp. My days are full and long. Most begin before dawn and last well after my children are down for the night. In my children’s eyes, I am a stay at home mom. In reality, I am also a wife, a grade coordinator for the PTA, a business owner, an ordained spiritual leader at our church, a custodian, a chauffeur, a maintenance woman, a chef.

I am certain I have forgotten something. My point is, it’s all obstacle courses, strength training and agility exercises. Women, in particular, are often are reluctant to accept a compliment or credit where credit is due (the reasons deserve discussion, but that will be for another time), but those who do - those who are good "receivers" - have a tendency to be the most prosperous.

So I am claiming it.

MY LIFE IS A BOOT CAMP!

Isn’t yours?!

***

Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/unexpected.html#ZkpJWQBptLRyK54o.99

Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/unexpected.html#ZkpJWQBptLRyK54o.99

"Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me." ~ Carl Sandburg


Halona Patrick Shaw, LCSW, JD
Board Certified Life Coach
Eyes Turned Skyward, Inc.
halona@eyesturnedskywardcoaching.com
 ph/text (917) 846-7784

Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/unexpected.html#ZkpJWQBptLRyK54o.99

Just for You

You've given of yourself to everyone else this season, now it is time indulge in a gift just for you. This gift to yourself can be a powerful tool to bring intention into your life. Set aside a few uninterrupted moments of quiet and reflection to complete this exercise.

Step One:

Reflecting on 2013, consider the following areas of your life: personal life/spiritual development; romance/intimacy; wellness/self-care; finances; career/business; physical environment; social life/fun;

list your wins, successes and breakthroughs;

list your "losses", disappointments and breakdowns. Now set these aside - they are part of your past.

Step Two:

Choose 5-7 lessons you have learned this year that you would like to take with you into 2014. When you decide which lessons to include, remember that these are lessons that you will use consciously in the new year.

Step Three:

Now imagine that it is December of 2014. Make a list of your wins, successes and breakthroughs. Be specific, and write them as though they have already happened. Make the list as long as you like.

Consider combining this exercise with a "vision board" - this can take the form of a story, a collage or a sketch - however you are comfortable expressing yourself. The vision board is for your eyes only - so feel free to create whatever feels right (hint: keep it simple, focused - too much clutter can obscure your vision!).

Which wins, successes or breakthrough resonate for you?

Which ones create a flutter? Excitement?

Which ones can you, in an intentional way, create in the coming year?

***

“We are the authors of our destinies. No one can see the vision any clearer, believe in and work any harder to make it a reality more than the visionary.” ~ Nike Campbell-Fatoki

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

Halona Patrick Shaw, LCSW, JD
Board Certified Life Coach
Eyes Turned Skyward, Inc.
halona@eyesturnedskywardcoaching.com
 ph/text (917) 846-7784

Gratitude, Even On the Bench

Last Monday started out like any other boot camp day. I arose at 5 AM, got dressed, had a quick protein shake, and made my way to class. I got set up with my mat and weights, and started warming up with the class.

The third exercise in that morning's circuit involved a jumping front kick, reminiscent of my kickboxing days. I did the combo three times, when I felt a pop in my right calf.

I have felt that same pop before, last summer, when I tore my left calf muscle chasing my then two year old at the church picnic. I stopped what I was doing, and the thoughts started to flood my mind. Things like: "seriously??" and "this can't be happening again."

But I knew exactly what I had done, so I gathered my things, and limped out to my car. I sat down and started to cry. For a brief moment, I cussed the devil. Then I gathered myself and launched an out-loud expression of gratitude (anyone paying attention might have questioned my stability). I began to call out, through tears, the things for which I was grateful at that moment: I woke up this morning, even in the dark; I could feel the chill when I walked to and from the car; I could FEEL pain (read: I was alive); I was wearing a new pair of yoga pants (which I loved, and they looked good, as I was beginning to get more toned).

The list could, and did, go on. I have had moments of melancholy, but they are short lived. I know that there are many blessings, even in this latest injury, both seen and unseen. More are yet to be revealed.

I have a Grade 2 calf tear (another thing for which I am grateful - last year was Grade 3, which is more severe). I am benched for 4-6 weeks, per my orthopedic surgeon this morning. I begin physical therapy this week. As for boot camp, it will be mid-January before I can resume.

I'm thinking about a daily plank/push-up challenge in the meantime - something that can work my upper body and core, but give my leg a much-needed rest to heal.

Who's with me??

***

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Halona Patrick Shaw, LCSW, JD
Board Certified Life Coach
Eyes Turned Skyward, Inc.

halona@eyesturnedskywardcoaching.com
 ph/text (917) 846-7784

Accountability, Part 2

Yesterday was the end of my third week of boot camp. I have kept my commitment to going to class on any weekday morning that Ted is home with the kids. The program is four mornings a week: the first week I went four times, the third week I went three times (Ted traveled once), and this week I went four times.

On this past Thursday morning, I did not want to get up. My alarm rings at 5 AM, it was dark, I could hear the wind outside and, frankly, I was tired. But before I let myself fall back to sleep, I thought about my commitment to you, and I got out of bed (I also thought about the before and after pictures I promised!). Once I was up, I was glad for it.

Over the last three weeks, this is what I have learned about myself:

I am so much stronger than I gave myself credit. I have lower and upper body strength that I pay no attention to, even though I am lifting kids (up to 40 lbs), bags of dog food (sometimes 60 lbs), water cooler jugs, moving furniture to retrieve a missing toy, all day long. I have not yet been the slimmest person in the room, but there have been mornings that I can see that the weights I lift with ease are a struggle for my slimmer counterparts who have been doing the boot camp for two months or more.

I have also not been the heaviest person in the room. For that, I am grateful!

Getting up at 5 AM became a habit relatively quickly. Yes, I have had to adjust my schedule so that the night before I am mindful of the upcoming wake up call, but that is fine, too. Most times one has to give something up to take on something new. I gave up mindlessly watching t.v. as the "unwinding" I thought I needed after a long day working and tending to the kids. Now I go to bed an or so hour earlier, and 5 AM is not so bad. Incidentally, I recently read an article about people who are successful in business, who are 5 AM risers. If you were to wake up three hours earlier each day, you will gain 45 days over the course of a year (what could you accomplish if you gained 45 extra days in a year?).

Finally, during a workout in the first week of the program, we were doing ab work on the floor, and I was struggling to finish the reps as G (my instructor) counted down the last 10 seconds (I have not given my abs any attention since two pregnancies and a back injury). She yelled in my direction "chin up and eyes to the ceiling!" I lifted my chin and turned my eyes to the sky, and everything changed. I was able to finish what I started.

Sound familiar?!

Three weeks down, three weeks to go!

***

“A little at a time until less becomes more and more becomes less on the other side.” ~ Johnnie Dent Jr.

Halona Patrick Shaw, LCSW, JD

Board Certified Life Coach
Eyes Turned Skyward, Inc.

halona@eyesturnedskywardcoaching.com
 ph/text (917) 846-7784

Accountability

Modeling is a large part of coaching. As a coach, I am committed to modeling the behaviors that my clients express the desire to have. In wellness coaching in particular, coaches are expected to model good eating habits, engage in regular physical activity, and have a good self-care routine so that self-care clients can see that it can be done and even see examples of how they can go about doing it.

Accountability, on the other hand, is an experience for the client. Much of a successful coaching partnership resides in the fact that the coach provides accountability for her clients. For example, an individual is more likely to thrive with a new nutrition or activity plans if she has someone to whom she is accountable (There is extensive research to support this conclusion). I know from personal experience, the only times in my adult life that I have been consistent with any gym membership was when I went to the gym with someone, or knew that a friend or trainer was waiting to meet me there. I used to get to the gym at 6:15 AM, get in a good workout, shower and make it to work by 8 AM.

Those days are long gone. I have children, a husband, a dog and a cat, all of whom need my assistance and attention in the morning. I have to get the kids up and going in the morning. I have to make breakfasts and lunches. I am sleep-deprived – I need those extra two hours of sleep. I run a business, I am on the PTA, I serve as an officer on two different boards.

These are my excuses.

We all have them. When we don’t have accountability, the excuses prevent us from having the things we say we want. But we also do not make the changes we truly desire.

Two physicians have told me that I carry too much weight. I would be happy to shed ten pounds, although both docs have indicated that I would be healthier if I were, well -- more than ten pounds lighter. Their numbers sound overly ambitious to me, but they are the experts.

So, this is what I have done: before I could talk myself out of it (tuning out the gremlins), I responded to an email and I signed up for a six-week boot camp. It begins on Monday, November 4^th. The group meets at 6 AM, four mornings a week. When I signed up, I committed to provide before and after pictures for the boot camp website (EEK!).

My clients are all looking to make some kind of change. Toward the end of most coaching sessions, I ask my client two questions: to what are you committed, in order to make this change? And, how would you like to be held accountable?

This is my commitment: I will attend 6 AM boot camp on as many weekdays Ted is in town to get the kids going in the morning. My goal is greater health and strength, though I will be happy to drop a dress size or two.

My accountability: YOU are going to hold me accountable. I am not asking you to do anything. But having made this public declaration, I am now accountable to you. I commit, also, to posting before and after pictures here at the end of the six weeks (I thought about posting a before pic now, but instead I’ll go for the big reveal).

What is it that you have been putting off? Exploring a new career path? Uncovering you true passion – something that is more aligned with your life purpose? Finding your way to a healthier YOU? Developing a self-care routine that better honors your body, mind and spirit?

What can you commit to today?

How would you like to be held accountable?

***

 

“If you talk about it, it's a dream, if you envision it, it's possible, but if you schedule it, it's real.”
~Anthony Robbins

 

Halona Patrick Shaw, LCSW, JD

Board Certified Life Coach
Eyes Turned Skyward, Inc.

halona@eyesturnedskywardcoaching.com
 ph/text (917) 846-7784